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Dealing with Suicide

Today, I brought my oldest daughter to her 14 year old friend’s funeral.

He committed suicide.

He was 14 years old.

We don’t know “why”. Rumors are that he was depressed, his parents were divorced and that he was having issues with his older brother.

When she told me that her friend had died, I was in the middle of blowing up balloons for the birthday party.

I was very conflicted at this point. How can be happy for two and sad for one? It is hard to express both emotions at the same time – especially when you are about to have 15 people in your house.

I brought her to the funeral today so she could say her good-bye. So she could be surrounded by other people who loved this young man and who are grieving his loss.

It was tragic.

It was tragic to see all of the children there to pay their respects.

It was tragic to see all of the young ladies crying and all of the young men looking lost – trying to stay strong and hold back the tears.

It was tragic to see that so many people cared for this young man and in the end it didn’t matter how many people cared for him.

They are all left wondering why.

They are all left wondering what they could have done differently.

They are all left questioning their mortality.

But they also are left with the images of grieving family and friends.

They are left with the image that death is truly final.

They are left with the realization that people do care. Even if it seems at times that they do not.

The strength that these young people showed today was tragic.

They should not be experiencing this type of loss at this age.

They should not be crying tears of pain.

They should not be wondering, for the rest of their lives, why?

And I don’t really know what to say to my daughter.

All I can do is be there for her; all I can do is let her know that I am HERE for her.

That I am here for her friends.

That I care about her pain and that I wish I could take it away.


The entire situation is tragic.

This young man had his entire life in front of him. He hadn’t even begun living yet. He was a Freshman in High School.

My heart breaks for his family.

My heart breaks for all of these children left behind who loved him.

Who will never get another opportunity to laugh with him or have a conversation with him.

Hug your children.

They need it.



{ 3 comments… add one }

  • notrick April 17, 2014, 2:16 am
  • Rebeccafaith April 21, 2014, 2:32 pm

    I am so sorry for your daughter, for his family, for his classmates, for him, for everyone. I don’t think there is ever a right way to handle the grief from any loss, let alone a 14 year old who had his whole life left to live. Depression and problems can become so big in our minds that we cant see what’s in front of us or who is surrounding us. Those poor parents, there are no words. So so sad. :[
    Rebeccafaith recently posted…Forever Spring BreakingMy Profile

    • MommaO April 21, 2014, 9:44 pm

      It is very traumatic. It is sad – no one that young should suffer through depression or loss of this magnitude.

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